As you have read in prior blog postings, my topics very based upon what is going through my mind at the time. Sometimes it is based on the latest scripture passage I have been studying, and other times, I use input from my readers. And of course, once in a while I may wax a bit more political than is really necessary, but what comes out onto these pages is NOT totally controlled by me. It's like a dam breaking each time. It starts with a leak, then a trickle and then a full on rush of thoughts and ideas that can't wait to see the light of day.
Some have scoffed at this, wanting to know what my "angle" is in doing these posts. Some have interpreted my enthusiasm as being egotistical and outrageous. Still others believe that I need to "walk the walk," before writing these posts. My friends, if I waited until I was qualified to communicate, it would never happen. I am unequivocally under-qualified to do this job. I turned my back on God exactly 40 years ago. I was 22, when I began a career that would eventually make a high school geek, President of some amazing businesses. I worked like a fiend, crushing good people as I ascended the ladder of worldly success. I married a wonderful women, fathered great kids, and vacationed in the finest villas around the world. I gambled in Vegas and Macao, played golf at private clubs in France, China, Taiwan, and Japan. I had dinner at the number one restaurant in the world, Gaddi's, at the Peninsula Hotel in Hong Kong.
Despite the fact that there are 16 "I's" in the above paragraphs, this blog is not about me. My role in all sincerity is to be the scribe, not an actual prophet or disciple. You can read the words, embrace some or none of what is written. The choice is yours based on the content provided. "Megabytes from God" was never meant to be clever, it was meant provide clarity for those of us seeking the truth in our daily lives and here is how it works:
- Over the last several years, I have been moving spiritually from a very dark place where my "soul" was covered by a layer of clouds that could have blotted out the sun itself, sort of a spiritual eclipse.
- Slowly and inconsistently I began to replace spiritual blindness with blurred vision. For weeks I took one step forward and then two steps backward, but finally I began to get spiritual clarity.
- My wife and my best high school friend by the Grace of God, somehow pushed the right buttons in my brain to turn on the headlights of my soul for the first time in 40 years.
- It was an awakening or quickening of sorts that started with baby steps that included letters to my wife, my children and my friend Alan.
- From there my daughter Jessie and I decided to write a blog. You see she is a gifted writer with enormous creative talent, just like my son. He does not write words, just beautiful music. When he plays or sings, it stirs my soul every time. God is working on both of them to use their talent for good in this world and the next.
- My wife, Susan has been the cement that keeps my family solid. Most days she does not get enough credit from any of us, because we take her for granted. This year will be our 34th Anniversary, so I like to refer to her as, "St. Susan the Patient," for putting up with me all these years.
- With the advent of digital tablets my desire to read and do research grew geometrically, making reading the Bible come alive. You can now go up, down and sideways in an instant, look up tough words or phrases, etc., but most importantly you can view original text to learn the intended meaning of everything you read.
Last night I was feeling pretty low. I was feeling sorry for myself, because some folks had accused me of saying some things that are not true. You see, in the past I used to grind up people and walk all over them...Sometimes with ones in my own family. I was your basic selfish jerk. For the better part of the last 10 years, I have been trying to shed that stigma concerning my temperament, but sometimes it just slips out in the heat of battle. My point is here that what was being said was false, but the way I handled it was worse. My old "rage" came flying out to defend my honor, but I should have just kept my mouth zipped. I believe this is what Christ meant when he said, "turn the other cheek."
My tablet, my dog and I always go to bed first. My long haired chihuahua, Mancho Man is my best friend. He listens attentively and never criticizes me. Anyway we cuddle up, and this is how it usually goes:
- I ask God for forgiveness. This is like blanket insurance coverage, so I get everything taken care of, in order to clear my mind and proceed.
- I open up II Chronicles, where I am now, and begin reading with no need for page turning or scrolling. I read the 1611 version of the KJV in large type, in a color that is easy to read.
- Usually I read 3-5 chapters each night, unless I can't sleep, then I can knock off 20 chapters with each one marked up in color with side notations, without ever sharpening a pencil.
In the middle of my despair last night in II Chronicles 15, verse 7, God says, "be ye strong therefore, and let not your hands be weak: for your work will be rewarded." It's amazing how faith, however shaky at the time, is always rewarded.
Please forgive me if my writing comes off arrogant or brash in anyway. I wasted spiritual time over the last 40 years. The Israelites had to wander for 40 years, until God let them back in his good graces. Maybe the same happened to me.